Starting Mediation - What Happens?
What should you expect when entering mediation? Here is the process that I follow when I am working with a couple in a family matter. I am going to welcome everyone to the mediation, because I want to maximize your chance of success by providing dignity and respect for all involved. Naturally, I look to you as a participant to support that environment.
I use Zoom video-conferencing. Once they have logged in, most of my clients choose to use the "gallery view" so that everyone appears on an equally sized screen, much as if we were around a real table. When things are not too tense I welcome everyone to the video conference so that at least for a while, everyone knows and sees everyone else who is participating. In what follows, I describe beginning a mediation that way.
Not every case works well with everyone together. Parties often want to be alone with their attorneys, so I can caucus using "breakout rooms," see further down below. In exceptionally tense cases I can take everyone to their breakout room as soon as they log in, without either party seeing the other. Ask me in advance of the mediation if we need to that.
For cases that do begin with everyone together, I’ll let everyone know a little bit about me, and I ask for introductions if we have not all met before. I’ll perhaps ask for a little bit about each party and their relationship with each other. We will recognize that it is a good thing that you are giving mediation a chance, but we can also recognize that there may be strong emotions and feelings, and that this can cause discomfort. We will establish some ground rules to deal with that.
I will explain the role of a mediator, because even if you have read the mediation agreement before, it helps to have the process explained personally, with an opportunity to ask questions, or to listen to questions asked by others. I cover the voluntary nature of the process, and I check-in that you can all accept that I am an unbiased neutral mediator. I will also cover the confidential nature of the process. If everyone has their own lawyer, I will let the lawyers advise their clients, but I will also explain this myself.
You will hear me explain that although I am a lawyer and former magistrate, I am not anybody’s lawyer when I mediate. As a mediator my role is that of an unbiased neutral. I do not provide legal advice to either party about what they should do. Indeed, I recommend that parties obtain legal advice before they sign any agreements with each other.
Especially when things get tough, I may separate the parties, and I will explain this “caucus” process before we begin mediation. If I meet with one party on their own, I will always meet the other, and often I will shuttle back and forth between the parties as needed. The Zoom video conferencing platform that I use allows for "breakout rooms," usually so that client plus attorney pairs can be together. These breakout rooms allow lawyers to counsel their clients, either with or without me being present. At the end of the day the goal of mediation is that we can come up with a written agreement or “memorandum of understanding” that can form a binding contract, and be approved as an order of the court.
I use Zoom video-conferencing. Once they have logged in, most of my clients choose to use the "gallery view" so that everyone appears on an equally sized screen, much as if we were around a real table. When things are not too tense I welcome everyone to the video conference so that at least for a while, everyone knows and sees everyone else who is participating. In what follows, I describe beginning a mediation that way.
Not every case works well with everyone together. Parties often want to be alone with their attorneys, so I can caucus using "breakout rooms," see further down below. In exceptionally tense cases I can take everyone to their breakout room as soon as they log in, without either party seeing the other. Ask me in advance of the mediation if we need to that.
For cases that do begin with everyone together, I’ll let everyone know a little bit about me, and I ask for introductions if we have not all met before. I’ll perhaps ask for a little bit about each party and their relationship with each other. We will recognize that it is a good thing that you are giving mediation a chance, but we can also recognize that there may be strong emotions and feelings, and that this can cause discomfort. We will establish some ground rules to deal with that.
I will explain the role of a mediator, because even if you have read the mediation agreement before, it helps to have the process explained personally, with an opportunity to ask questions, or to listen to questions asked by others. I cover the voluntary nature of the process, and I check-in that you can all accept that I am an unbiased neutral mediator. I will also cover the confidential nature of the process. If everyone has their own lawyer, I will let the lawyers advise their clients, but I will also explain this myself.
You will hear me explain that although I am a lawyer and former magistrate, I am not anybody’s lawyer when I mediate. As a mediator my role is that of an unbiased neutral. I do not provide legal advice to either party about what they should do. Indeed, I recommend that parties obtain legal advice before they sign any agreements with each other.
Especially when things get tough, I may separate the parties, and I will explain this “caucus” process before we begin mediation. If I meet with one party on their own, I will always meet the other, and often I will shuttle back and forth between the parties as needed. The Zoom video conferencing platform that I use allows for "breakout rooms," usually so that client plus attorney pairs can be together. These breakout rooms allow lawyers to counsel their clients, either with or without me being present. At the end of the day the goal of mediation is that we can come up with a written agreement or “memorandum of understanding” that can form a binding contract, and be approved as an order of the court.